34.  10 tips to help you heal after a break up

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Breakups are awful. I used to be the queen of getting my heart broken and it never got easier.

Even my very last breakup which took place a few weeks before I met my husband was devastating.

I did learn a lot though, and I have some great pointers to help you get through this and come out of it stronger and more likely to get into a better relationship next time.

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth the effort.

1. Realize that it really is over. Let yourself mourn and cry if you need to. 

2. Write him a letter and tell him everything you wish he would have said or done. Tell him how awful he was and how mad and hurt you are. Tell him how much you loved him and how wrong he was to hurt you. Let it all out. Then write a letter back to yourself from him in response with all the things you wish he would say to you. If you don’t want to do all this writing, you can do it with 2 chairs. Sit in one and picture him sitting in the other and say these things instead of writing them. (Do not send the letters!)

3. Write down all the ways in which he was wrong for you and you were unhappy in the relationship. Keep this list and read it when you are missing him to remind yourself why you are no longer together.

4. Write down the history of the relationship from the beginning to the end. Make note of any choices you made that you can now see led to the result of getting your heart broken. Accept responsibility for making these choices without blaming yourself or beating yourself up. Have compassion for yourself and know that you can always make good choices for yourself in any future relationships. 

5. Have a “relationship funeral”. Creating a ritual to mark the ending of something that mattered to you can be very healing.

6. Try tapping. A quick google search will show you how to do this. It’s easy and will help you stop obsessing about him or all the things you think you did wrong.

7. Set a date to get rid of all of his belongings/things that remind you of him.

8. Do not call him, text him or stalk him on social media.

9. Decide when you will start dating again and stick to it. Don’t spend months or years healing or hiding. Get back out there and find your love!

10. Get support! I can help you get through your breakup, heal and learn everything you can to set you up for success in your next relationship.

If you’re ready to get out there and date, you’ll need an amazing profile. 

Click here to grab my free guide to help you write one.