87. How to tell if a man is moving too fast

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The new guy you’re seeing keeps messaging you, texting you, calling you and can’t wait to see you again.

Maybe he’s declared his feelings for you, wants you to meet his family, take down your profiles, or become exclusive.

This is all feeling a bit too soon for you and you’re starting to feel uncomfortable.

Should you have a talk? Set a boundary? Start to distance yourself or even tell him you don’t want to see him anymore?

First, take a deep breath. This is a great problem to have and you’re probably closer than you think to being partnered up!

Men who are excited about you almost always will move faster than you are comfortable with and this can feel uncomfortable, especially if you have a pattern of dating unavailable men.

We all think we want a man who is excited about us and eager to move the relationship forward and then when it actually happens we tend to think he’s moving too fast.

I want you to notice that “too fast” is a matter of opinion.

There is no objective measure of what is fast or slow in this realm.

It takes 2 people to participate in a relationship and it stands to reason that one of them will usually want things to move faster than the other one.

You’re just used to that person being you and now it’s him.

That doesn’t make him wrong. You are not the ultimate judge of what is too fast in the entire world. You simply have an opinion and so does your guy.

I suggest that you make room for his opinion as well as your own instead of making him wrong by labeling his behavior as “too fast”.

Respecting your partner and his opinion is a skill that will come in handy once you’re in a committed relationship, so this is great practice.

I suggest whenever possible that you let the man lead in things like this and let yourself enjoy the attention. There really is no harm in letting him call, text,or take you to meet his family.

If he’s pressing for a commitment, you can think about the terms under which you’d be willing to make a commitment, and for how long.

These things can be negotiated.

There are times when you will want to set a boundary though, especially if he is pressing for physical intimacy, moving in together or actually pressuring you for something without regard to your feelings.

Think carefully about what your boundaries are and communicate them with him.

Then see what he does.

This is far better than simply shutting him down by telling him he is moving too fast. He’s moving at whatever pace he’s moving and you have a different opinion.

And when a man moves fast, unless it’s in the physical department, it usually means he’s falling for you, which is great news.

I have a great resource to help you create your very own custom man plan so that you can find a quality man ASAP.

Click here to download it or go to bit.ly/MANPLAN.