91. Do you have too many dealbreakers?

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When it comes to dating, most of us have preferences.

Things like tall, dark and handsome.

Ivy-league educated.

Knows where the good restaurants are.

Likes Sushi and The Cure.

We often tell ourselves that these things are must-haves, to our own detriment.

They are not.

A man does not have to like a certain kind of food, look a certain way or live a certain lifestyle to love you and treat you well.

I see women prioritize these qualities and end up with men who are terrible.

Men who string them along for years, don’t treat them well and never end up marrying them.

Don’t confuse preferences with deal-breakers.

Deal-breakers are things like: cruel to animals, living under a bridge, isn’t interested in the form of relationship you are seeking, lives too far away to see you often enough to build a relationship.

At any given time, there are a certain number of single men in your area and age range out there dating.

Every single quality you insist that he possesses decreases your pool of eligible candidates.

You get 70-90% of what you want.

Make sure it’s the RIGHT 70-90%

I encourage all my clients to insist on character-based must-haves.

Things like kindness, responsibility, and interest in a committed relationship.

Qualities like these are necessary in order to have a good relationship.

A love of fine wine and pickleball is not.

Am I telling you to settle?

No.

If you’ve been single for a year or more in the name of “not settling” then you already are settling my friend.

You’re settling for nights, weekends and holidays alone over an idea of who you should be dating when there are literally tons of men who would love to date you.

They are very likely to come in a package that looks a little different than you expected, but those things matter much less than you think.

I have a great resource to help you create your very own custom man plan so that you can find a quality man ASAP.

Click here to download it or go to bit.ly/MANPLAN.