38.  Are you following this bad dating advice?

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Today I’m going to talk about the worst dating advice I hear all the time. I bet you’re hearing it too, even from well-meaning friends who just want to help you.

But I’m here to give it to you straight and this stuff just doesn’t work and I want you to stop believing this stuff immediately.

Stop looking/It’ll happen when you least expect it

Ugh. This is the best way to make finding a great guy to take even longer. The fact is, you’re over 40 and you’re not surrounded by tons of single age-appropriate men who are looking to settle down within the next few years. This advice has not applied since college. Time for an update.

Wait on God/The Universe

God/The Universe love you and want you to find a great man, but they know that the best way to find a good partner is to become one yourself. This is almost always accomplished by developing the necessary skills, not by waiting for the things you want to happen to you. Think about it, you don’t act like this in any other important endeavor in your life.

Don’t settle

You’re already settling my friend! I talk about this extensively in other episodes. Being single when you don’t want to be over an unrealistic idea of who you should be dating is one of the biggest misconceptions in modern dating. When deciding if you’re settling or not, ask yourself what qualities really make a man a good, loving partner. What qualities do your good friends possess? Throw out those superficial qualities we tend to overvalue and get yourself a good man.

Keep busy/Just do things you love

You’re already too busy. Unless you’re spending all this busy time doing things that put you in front of new men that are relationship material, in which case you’re probably not listening to this podcast. I see women filling up their schedules with “relationship replacement activities” like girls trips, working tons of hours, spending all their free time running around so they never have a minute alone. If this is you, I suggest you take some time to learn how to date and carve out some time to meet new men.

If he can’t handle you at your worst, he doesn’t deserve you at your best

Listen, I’m going to go a bit old-school on you here, but REALLY? Think about the way you act with your good friends. You didn’t unleash your very worst on them immediately. I mean yes, there are days and you’re good friends now, but there’s a give and take. To have a good partner, you need to be one.

If you get into a committed relationship he will see you at your worst sooner or later but there’s no need to rush this.

So here’s some really good dating advice for you to replace this with: Learn how to date and then get out there and practice. I’m here to help you!

If you’re ready to get out there and date, you’ll need an amazing profile.

Click here to grab my free guide to help you write one.